Sid: Hello, Sid Roth here, welcome to my world

where it is naturally supernatural.

My guest Kathi Oates told me that studies reveal

87 percent of illnesses, of sicknesses, are caused

by stored toxic emotions.

And if you could have x-ray vision and look at

someone’s heart you would see cracks in their heart

and in some instances you would actually see a portion

of their heart broken off to protect themselves

and then they are an incomplete person.

My guest was such a person, Kathi, you were

conceived out of wedlock, I mean you started out

on shaky ground and you were abused as a child.

Kathi: Right, verbally and physically.

Sid Roth: Tell me about Fat Kathi.

Kathi: Well early on our family was very angry, very

angry, my mother was abused, she was physically abused,

emotionally abused, and by the time I entered school I was

bigger than all the other kids, and so I was teased about it,

I was not accepted, and when I got to school the only

comfort that I found was through eating, and so I got

bigger and more teasing, and it created a whole cycle

in those early years that was very destructive.

Sid: And then, this, you must have had a lot of

emotional pain as a result of this.

Kathi: I had an awful lot of emotional pain

and there was no place to put the pain.

I wasn’t safe at home to process pain, I wasn’t safe at

home to be angry and let the anger out, I really felt I

wasn’t safe at school, the only redeeming quality was

I had a good inlet, and so I focused on my studies,

I focused on that, but at the same time I would eat to

cover up the pain, just anything to cover up the pain.

Sid Roth: Okay, so you finally decided maybe there is

something more to life than the aesthesia of eating,

and you then become “Skinny Kathi.”

Kathi: Right, I became very thin, ultra thin and all

borderline anorexic, wound up in the hospital

with a kidney infection, was very thin and very popular,

it’s like all my dreams came true.

I was dating the captain of the football team, I was the

cheerleader, it was like Cinderella and those were my last

couple of years of high school, but inside I was a hurting

puppy, very hurting and very seeking, I was seeking a lot,

none of my family knew the Lord, none of them had ever

come into a personal relationship with the Lord,

and nobody in my town that I knew of.

Sid: Okay, so you become a believer, you marry Gary;

you are 28 years a pastor’s wife, but you finely have

reached your point where you don’t want to be an actress

anymore and say, “Everything’s fine, I’m blessed.”

Kathi: Right, from the outside we looked like the perfect

pastor’s family, I want to really make that clear, because

people can look good from the outside but the Lord knows

what’s happening on the inside, the Lord knows all the

anger, all the fear, all the torment that is going on, and that

is what was happening with me, and by the time I had

stuffed 28 more years of anger and frustration and fear and

self-hatred on top of what I had already brought into the

marriage, there was a lot of arguing, a lot of fighting

amongst us, and I decided if Gary would just get better,

give me more affection, be a better husband, or we had a

bigger church, or because we had pioneered churches for

28 years, I was looking to all the outward things,

if I just had this it would make me happy.

Sid: Just like you were looking for other

food as Fat Kathi.

Kathi: It was looking, I had stayed thin, I fought to stay

thin, and it was to my physical determent really.

And then all of a sudden God began to work on me, and I

began to see it was really about the inside out, it was really

about what was really going on and I had to face the truth

about what was on the inside of me, and it wasn’t about

my good deeds, it wasn’t about being a good pastor’s wife,

it was about the jealousy, the anger, the strife,

the bitterness on the inside, the anger was horrific.

Sid: What was the first key that you got to get free?

Kathi: the first key was that God began to speak truth in

my innermost parts, I began to get quiet enough,

I think we live in such a rat race of a world we’re not

quiet enough to tune in to what’s happening on the

inside of us or the things that we believe, and so

the Lord began to bring truth to the light.

Well then I began to notice, there’s a war going on

on the inside of me, there is one person that feels

one way and one person that is very angry and

when the pain would get stepped on on the inside

this angry person would come out, this bitter person

would come out and I didn’t like her at all.

And Gary didn’t like her at all and it was very difficult.

I remember Gary saying to me one time,

“If you would just think more positively.”

And I said to him, “You know Gary, you don’t understand

this, you don’t understand what it is like to have two

people on the inside warring against each other.”

And it was those words out of my mouth I began to

see a Christian can have a broken heart, they can be split,

so to speak, and one part holding all the pain,

all the trauma, and another part trying to be

“Sally Good Christian,” all the time.

And it was, I came to him and I said,

“Gary, I don’t care what you are going to do,

I don’t care if we have the biggest church,

I don’t care if my house is perfect, I don’t care if my

kids are perfect, I am going to get the help I need.

And that’s when I began to really seek the Lord about

that and a man came along, that had a ministry of healing

and talking to us about walls and parts.

And during that period of ministry I got real quiet and

because I am a visual person, the Lord showed me visually

what was happening on the inside, and I began to see that I

had a big wall on the inside, and the man said,

“Well ask the Lord what’s the name of the wall?”

Sid: I’ll tell you what, hold that thought because Kathi not

only finds out about this wall and has her heart restored,

but she had been equipped to supernaturally restore your

heart, don’t go away we’ll be right back after this word.

© Copyright 2009 admin, All rights Reserved. Written For: Sid Roth One New Man TV
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